A Diary of a Mesowarrior Living with #mesothelioma #asbestos I have reached a brick wall can I smash it? Yes I can !!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I feel as if I have come to a brick wall. Its the first time in 11.5 years I have felt like this.

My scan has shown I have still growth even if it is slow My Nasty is growing and laughing at me.

I have had a pone call from the Marsden that Im not suitable for the 2 new trials coming through. Why? I don’t know as yet but I will ask when I go for another scan next week if they get the letter to me.

I sat down sat down and everything was going round and round in my head. This has been a hard year of separation from all my dear friends and family. Its ok doing Zoom but your not touching. Last night we had a Zoom meeting with 2 dear friends that I think the world of but they couldn’t see nor feel me stroking their cheek and the feeling of wanting to cuddle them was very strong .Its one of those times when you just want to hug and say it will be OK.

So I have taken everything back into my own hands. Im back in charge again searching for trials and treatments just like 20014.

I contacted Liz Darlinson of Meso UK a support group that has become my crutch Im very involved in raising awareness with them.

Liz asked if I have gone down the natural route and gave me a great link  that I have to read through and see what I can change http://www.cancernet.co.uk/lifestyle.htm?fbclid=IwAR0WmX5LbMOsGgCTiJElTc39Mo5Aim1azt58jKPIpvSyrWmfxTiNP9pAdRA

So that step one

Step two is A Clinic which I have contacted to see if they have any trials as The Marsden Sutton and Chelsea are going out of the frame Leicester as well. Barts is my next call after the scan results but I do feel like that brick wall is very tall now.

Where would we be without Support Groups. Since I have been in Zoom meets I realise the huge part they play. MESSY has been my Favourite with Simon Bolton who really runs a friendly crowd people that are very clued up on the subject. I think that’s because Simon is very clued up and so interesting but also because he allows mw to natter away and put my two pennyworth in but also because he is way up in Leeds where I could never travel each month by train, well not at the moment.

So that’s where Iam today in this Covid 19 world. Please don’t go into another lock down my nerves and my Meso cant take it.

I have been gardening where I can lose myself amongst the weeds and cut down all the tall growth. Planted bulbs in pots. I will be here to see them pop up in the spring Positive rules the day.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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